It's here

Up until recently, I was nominally on my gap year, though none of my friends were in school. That is to say that I was on summer break and nothing was out of the ordinary. I first truly realized that I'm not going to school when we sent Charis off to Choate, and the realization that my gap year arrived hit me. At times I feel pressure; Choate was about routine. Every living-waking moments of your day is scheduled and taken care of. Currently I'm transitioning to RhodySquash (it's becoming apparent that being busy and scheduled is an ephemeral concern), so I feel charged with creating my own routine. It's a completely new feeling, and coincidentally good preparation for Brown, which is one of the least structured schools in the universe in my estimation. I have a plan for the next 5 years, and I'm currently unconcerned with preparation for the next steps so to speak. Without school, I have time to focus on what interests me. I'm slogging through The Road to Serfdom and beginning the sex thriller House of Holes. I play squash every day and I cook for myself what I want when I want it. I'm watching movies at night that I was otherwise too busy to watch when I was at school (Pulp Fiction don't get the hype). And yes, I'm less neurotic and anxious now because I don't feel the immense pressure to perform academically. So going forward, I'm excited to do RhodySquash and create my own squash coaching business. I'm excited to make money. I'm excited to learn how to drive and visit friends at other schools. And most of all, I'm excited to experience things I would never have been able to experience if I were at school studying right now (next week for example I'm going to Boston to see Showdown at Symphony).