A day in the life of ...

My shrink and I have been working on "living in the present." Whereas neurosis and existential angst can sometimes be my norm, here on Useppa, I've truly been existing in the ether. Each morning, I wake up around nine and enjoy a few cups of coffee, my customary fruit bowl, and cottage cheese. After an hour of digestion, I venture to the fitness center, and work out in the presence of lovely and friendly Useppa locals, most of whom are 50 years senior to me. After lunch, I enjoy reading in the house hammock, basking in the comfort that I'm minimizing my risk of melanoma and other insidious types of skin cancer. As the sun wanes, Charis, my Mom, Dad, and I split our time between tennis, the hot tub, the pool, ambling on the beach, frisbee, and watching competitive croquet. In fact today, we visited the Useppa Island museum; who knew the US practiced the Bay of Pigs invasion here! It would appear this level of relaxation now qualifies me to work at a crunchy health food store.