The Clean Program

My new diet for the next 3 weeks:

My Mom, Dad, and I are doing a 21 day detox cleanse in preparation for Passover. I'm primarily interested in losing my gut but am open to clearing out my system. The cleanse is simple -- protein shake for breakfast, lunch with organic foods from approved list (51% raw minimum), and a protein shake for dinner. With regard to cleansing, I can say that I feel like pre-op colonoscopy patient, and every night for the past five days I've had weird and totally unrelated dreams.

Foods we can have:

Fruit: Whole fruits (including lemons and limes), unsweetened, frozen or water-packed, diluted natural juices

Dairy Substitutions: nut milk made from "clean" nuts (hazelnut, almond, walnut, pecan, brazil), unsweetened brown rice milk, seed milks like hempseed, sunflower, pumpkin, sesame, coconut milk (unsweetened and in small amounts)

Grains: Brown rice, millet, quinoa, amaranth, buckwheat, teff, buckwheat

Meat: free-range chicken, turkey, duck, fresh ocean fish-pacific salmon, ocean char, halibut, haddock, cod, sole, pollock, tuna (preferably fresh, but canned is okay), mahi-mahi, lean lamb, water-packed canned tuna (watch out for the ones that have added soy protein), wild game

Plant based proteins: Split peas, red and green lentils, all legumes and beans (except edamame and peanuts)

Nuts and seeds: walnuts, sesame, pumpkin, brazil, sunflower, hazelnuts, pecans, almonds, cashews, hemp seeds, chia seeds, flax, nut and seed butters

Vegetables: everything except nightshades (eggplants, tomatoes, peppers and potatoes and no sweet potatoes or yams) consumed fresh/organic/local, raw, steamed, sauteed, juiced, roasted

Oils: Cold pressed olive, coconut, flax, sesame, almond, sunflower, pumpkin, walnut, coconut

Beverages: Filtered or distilled water, green tea, herbal teas, seltzer or mineral water, yerba mate, coconut water, kombucha (in moderation if you're already consuming it), fresh juices

Sweeteners: Brown rice syrup, agave nectar (in moderation), stevia

Miscellaneous: apple cider vinegar, balsamic vinegar, ume plum vinegar, rice vinegar, all spices (but try to avoid large amounts of red pepper, chili, cayenne, chipotle pepper), coconut amino acids, wheat free tamari, sea salt, all herbs (basil, cinnamon, cumin, dill, garlic, ginger, oregano, parsley, rosemary, turmeric, marjoram, cardamom, thyme etc. ), carob, raw cacao, miso, mustard (without sugar or preservatives)

Delicious food we cannot eat:

Fruit: Oranges, orange juice, grapefruit, strawberries, grapes, banana

Dairy: Eggs, milk, cheese, cottage cheese, cream, yogurt, butter, ice cream, non-dairy creamers

Grains: Wheat, corn, barley, spelt, kamut, rye, couscous, oats

Meat: Raw fish, pork, beef, veal, sausage, cold cuts, canned meats, hot dogs, shellfish

Plant based protein: Soybean products (soy sauce, soybean oil in processed foods, tempeh, tofu, soy milk, soy yogurt)

Nuts: Peanuts, peanut butter, pistachios, macadamia nuts

Vegetables: corn, creamed vegetables, sweet potatoes, tomatoes, potatoes, eggplants, peppers

Oils: Butter, margarine, shortening, processed oils, canola oil, salad dressings, mayonnaise, spreads

Beverages: Alcohol, coffee, caffeinated beverages, soda pop, pasteurized juices, soft drinks

Sweeteners: Refined sugar, white/brown sugars, honey, maple syrup, aspartame, high fructose corn syrup, evaporated cane juice, Splenda®, Equal®, Sweet’N Low®

Miscellaneous: Chocolate (processed with dairy and sugar), ketchup, relish, chutney, soy sauce (with gluten, sugar, and gmo soybeans), barbecue sauce, teriyaki, other condiments

2 days in Chucktown

Charlestown was a cultural letdown but a gastronomic paradise (please look to the next few posts, where I will comment on our dining experiences). Surprisingly, the most interesting part of the city was the massive bridge, 10 lains across and beautifully constructed. We stayed across the river in MT. Pleasent at the Old Village Post House, a quaiant, picturesque inn. I can only fault the lack of an exercise room, from which I normally have been able to counter the feelings of guilt associated with gorging myself, 3 meals a day, hoovering everything In sight for two straight weeks. We spent our two days exploring the historic area of the city, which included visiting the market, kitchen supply shops with my dad, and the the College of Charlestown. I think Charlestown was ultimately a letdown because it tried -- and failed -- to be something it's not ... A quaint European-style town. Who knows though ... Maybe I'm crazy.

First African Baptist Church

In my experience, attending a local church has the opportunity to be a cultural highlight of any trip. As it was with Joel Osteen in Houston, attending First African Batist was a truly magical occasion. The particular Sunday morning service was musical, uplifting, educational, and at times even inspiring. Locals donned big hats and colorful outfits; all stood, hands raised in the air, praising and praying. The music itself was exceptionally entertaining, only to be outdone by the Pastor's sermons, which, in addition to religious scripture, included admonition against gang violence and recommendations to use the Bible-app on congregants' smart phones. Every one was so friendy and welcoming -- attending a baptist church in the deep South is a must do for anyone.

Island hopping to Savannah

We're heading northward back to Rhode Island, but because we're traveling by car, we've had the opportunity to visit unique, one-would-not-expect destinations (and restaurants, for the food obsessed among us). From Useppa, we headed to St. Simmons Island, Georgia, which proved a deep-South culture shock for up tight New Yorkers. That night, with no regard to our longevity, health, or arteries, we enjoyed truly delicious southern shrimp and grits. The next morning, we visited Jekyll Isand, Georgia, the birthplace of the Federal Reserve (see "The Creature from Jekyll Island). Though topographically beautiful, there is little to see, and after a quick lunch, we drove to Savannah. Cuban Food tonight was a welcome change of pace and more to come from Newt territory tomorrow. As a side, I just watched "Game Change" on HBO, and found it absolutely excellent.

A day in the life of ...

My shrink and I have been working on "living in the present." Whereas neurosis and existential angst can sometimes be my norm, here on Useppa, I've truly been existing in the ether. Each morning, I wake up around nine and enjoy a few cups of coffee, my customary fruit bowl, and cottage cheese. After an hour of digestion, I venture to the fitness center, and work out in the presence of lovely and friendly Useppa locals, most of whom are 50 years senior to me. After lunch, I enjoy reading in the house hammock, basking in the comfort that I'm minimizing my risk of melanoma and other insidious types of skin cancer. As the sun wanes, Charis, my Mom, Dad, and I split our time between tennis, the hot tub, the pool, ambling on the beach, frisbee, and watching competitive croquet. In fact today, we visited the Useppa Island museum; who knew the US practiced the Bay of Pigs invasion here! It would appear this level of relaxation now qualifies me to work at a crunchy health food store.

Eating at Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives

So we're all on a much needed vacation. The family, as we have in the past, opted to road trip down to Florida, which in part became highly attractive now that we have 1) a new licensed driver and 2) a four door car with good mileage (whose battery doesn't explode on impact, coincidentally). Somewhat nauseous from Red Rooster, we woke up at 4am, and slogged down the eastern seaboard for two days, stopping in Savannah, Georgia, the first night and Sarasota, Florida the second. Being the foodies that we are, we've tried to eat well along the way and have a made a few stops at joints Guy Fieri visited including:

• The Village Cafe (Richmond, VA): Redefines the meaning of big portions, and explains the US Obesity epidemic
• The Metro Diner (Jacksonville, FL): Salad with steak and french fries ... enough said. We ultimately decided against the bacon cheese burger caked between two grilled cheese sandwiches

A must see is the anachronistic "South of the Border" road stop; it was everything one would expect from a Mexican-town-amusement park-thing and more. Despite a minor car crash in Sarasota -- we hit a car in a Whole Foods parking lot -- we made it to Bokeelia Island, the port before Useppa, safely. More to come from paradise. The land of Marco Rubio ain't too shabby.

Red Rooster

I can now count myself in the company of our President, who recently dined at this ultimately confusing and over-hyped eating establishment. It's always exciting for me to eat at a restaurant of acclaim. Marcus Samuelson's celebrity only fueled my expectations, which were quickly tempered by his all over the place, clinically ADHD menu. From Swedish Gravlax and Southern Fried Chicken (aka Yard Bird) to Indian spiced collard greens and Ethiopian inspired fish over bacon studded grits, the confusing menu left much to be desired (and please don't let me forget the profoundly uncomfortable chairs)! Lest I seem too cyclical, I should mention that I did enjoy my meal, but have no desire to ever return.

I strongly urge my readers to watch this RI Senate campaign video: